sobbingcreys:

in which Garrett highfives himself

sobbingcreys:

in which Garrett highfives himself

1,284 notes

feathor:

when your friend cusses in front of your parents

image

(Source: orcas)

256,674 notes

  • Me after every conversation: why the fuck did I say that

636,278 notes

notcrazyiswear:

danglingthpider:

notcrazyiswear:

I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly.

Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.

I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”

61,169 notes